And anyone reading...
Be a poet,
And never lie to yourself.
Don't forget to take care of your heart,
Since its the only body part you ever bloody well listen to.
Just take more vitamins...Or eat some beets...
Don't forget to buy trail mix tomorrow.
I can feel the energy of the millions praying to Jesus today.
Its stronger than usual.
He was such an enlightened man.
I wish my people hadn't killed him.
But I guess everything happens for a reason.
Unless it doesn't feel safe.
Thats something you're good at.
Don't forget to edit.
Fall in love with a blond girl.
Who can look good with brown hair too.
Thats a smart idea.
There will always be ups an down in a relationship.
No matter how perfect you are.
Just have patience.
Don't park in handicap spots.
Open the door for people whenever you can.
If you ever go to jail...
Don't be anyones bitch...
....you should probably work out more.
You are a lucky son of a bitch
My brother is my lucky charm.
Although I should really find a charm I can carry around with me...
I hate commercials.
What the fuck is a salad spritzer? And why would I ever actually need one?
Love is the way back to the light.
Don't drink more than 5 drinks.
5 drinks is plenty.
Unless you're having strawberry daiquiris.
In that case drink all you want.
There is always a reason for someone's actions.Forgive.
Fruit is a great thing to put in your cereal.
Fruit is great anytime.
It's natures candy.
Don't call anyone a bastard.Apparantly it is a word that still offends people.
This I did not know.
My apologies to the tyee editors.
I didn't mean to offend,
and have a great respect for what you do.
Buy the following sometime within the next 2 years:
a hot tub
a better bookshelf
an entire box of those delicious caramel cookies from england
and a shower radio
Buy lottery tickets once in a while.
But never pay more than $3.
Do chicks still dig money?
And nice cars?
I hope not.
I'll keep the same car forever if i can.
I do not plan on ever being a rich man.
Not rich with money anyways...
Be a fucking philanthropist.
And practice some chess.
Learn how to filter your joints properly.
Try to be better with remembering birthdays.
Does the queen wipe her own ass?How about Oprah?
Does Paris Hilton's shit stink?
I think probably so.
Grow a nice garden.
And go on picnics as often as possible.
Take that blond girl, who looks good with brown hair.
Lean how to bake.
Always have faith.
And get a fucking haircut ya hippy.