Wednesday, March 21, 2007
After staring at Brian Howell's photograph of the Michael Jackson impersonator, I came to ask myself...WHY would Michael Jackson deform his face so much...
And I came up with an answer!
We all know how Michael Jackson has an obsession with Peter Pan. The neverland ranch, never wanting to grow up yadda yadda yadda....well i think he was trying to LOOK like Peter Pan as well.
Check it out:
How disgustingly similar is that?
Yep....i think I figured it out...
Soon he'll be dying his hair orange, and wearing spock ears...you'll see.
Monday, March 19, 2007
I was tired and uninspired
I had ideas but they wouldn't come out
I needed to find that one
To base it all on
To tell a tail
To sing about
Someone who would dance with me
Naked in the streets
And laugh with me when they stick us in the paddy wagon
And lift my head when they call me insane
I got your postcard
The one with the chocolate house
Saying to meet you in a place I'd love
Where the air smells like childhood
A place that will only be known to us
The trees all hold fruit you said
And the bushes hand out splifs
It will take a plane, a train and a paddle boat to get there
And we never have to come back here again
Attached was a map
X marked the spot
A 2000 mile trip
"Meet me there in 2 days"
And as surprised as I was
I did not pause
My weeks agenda went into the fire
I hopped the plane
Caught the train
And paddle boated my way
Upcoming memories of you filled my head
Nestled through the weeping willows
I found you painting by the pond
A picture of what we'd look like tomorrow in bed
With a mistletoe in your hair
So I can kiss you more frequently
You showed me around this magical place
Your letter was true
Everything was there
From the fruit in the trees
To the smell in the air
The bees brought us honey from your sweet lullaby
And the fireflies
Oh yes there were fireflies
Caught in our old pickle jars
Lighting up our night sky
As we make love under the perfect climbing tree
And glowing as we swam naked in our pond
The temperature is always right
And we only wear silk and white
We drank tea
And I felt at home
Can we stay forever?
As I carved your name
Up top that tree we made love under that night
With candles lit in our empty wine bottles
I wrote you a song
And we took our time
Because we're the only ones there to count our steps
And no time with you is too long
We've got all that we need
A tire swing
And an engagement ring
We make our own music
And anything else we make ourselves
This is where I'll stay to watch every sunrise
We write letters everyday
Just an extra something to say
I love you
Cant wait to see you later
Each day is a new adventure
A new treasure map is drawn
We're there in that space
Our heaven like place
And I'll never be uninspired again
Friday, March 16, 2007
a photographic social commentary
Imagine finding out that you are starting to lose your sight, along with everyone else on earth. It is hereditary, and each generation is becoming blinder and blinder, and in 100 years all our descendants will be entirely in the dark. And instead of curing the disease, we prolong it. Finding temporary solutions with drugs, technology, or just by lying to ourselves, to give us "short term relief", but always knowing that down the line, the blindness is inevitable. There is No Escape.
In a sense we're already going blind, and the only way we are able to view the world is through our televisions, computers and newspapers. We select what we want to see, and what we want to be true, and in most cases it is already selected for us.
David Campion's images question our motives for how we live our day to day lives. He repeats the wisdom of Jane Jacob who said that, "People don't see what's in front of their eyes because they have been told what they should be seeing." His photographs point out that the more we mass produce, the less we cherish, and the more garbage we leave for future generations to clean up.
"Myths are so powerful that we live and die by them. For me, there are two types of photographs, those that perpetuate myths and those that deconstruct them.
Ten years ago, I had the opportunity to visit an African tribe of nomadic herders. Knowing that I was going to ask them about their culture, I began to think about mine and asked myself the question: Who are we; we whose lives are shaped by pay checks, motorcars, shopping malls and expiry dates?
One night around the fire, a tribesman, his skin glistening ocher red, the color of his cattle, his hair unbound in mourning for his late mother, told me: "You have no culture." Sitting in my Levi's and t-shirt I could not find a reply.
With the shepherds, I witnessed lives lived outside the global marketplace, and the experience gave me the eyes to see cracks in the myth of progress."
What we can't ignore, we hide from. Brian Howell travels around North America finding people who do just this. Howell's subject are all celebrity impersonators. People who have chosen to dress as someone else, obscuring themselves beneath layers of make up and in some cases plastic surgery. The media is the 21st century's global empire. We are influenced at a very young age by the people we see on TV. When being yourself doesn't work, just look like Paris Hilton to be accepted.
" It is us, the society at large, that perpetuates this myth of celebrity. There is a widespread thirst to know everything about the people whose faces we see on a daily basis. We ultimately know more about the intimate details of these celebrities than we do about our own family and friends. Their daily lives are the new soap operas, the new news. Countless television hours are spent dissecting a talk show host's weight gain or weight loss, or the death of someone like Anna Nicole Smith. It's all packaged with titillating imagery and intrigue, murder, drugs, etc. The society at large pays more attention to this world than the one we inhabit."
When people start to realize their "blindness" and seek a cure instead of a temporary treatment, what do they do? What can they do? When the rich are getting richer off these short term fixes, why would they help find a cure? In a society that easily forgets wars from our not so distant future, we need people who will stand up and remind us of the past and the mistakes that do not bear repeating.
Elaine Brière captures these groups and individuals in their effort to help us see the ebb and flow of history. She gives voice to the struggle of ordinary citizens who are prepared to go up against money and power with only hope and justice on their side. Without these protesters, peace keepers and awareness groups we have no chance of a cure. Time isn't on our side, and we're almost past the point of no return.
"History is a cautionary tale.
I feel it is important to show the enormous power of the state, and the impressive crowd control arsenal of the police. Our forefathers and mothers, whose names we have now forgotten, sacrificed much for our right to publicly express our discontent.
This right will continue to exist only if people remember to use it."
- Elaine Brière
When 10 million people march to stop a war, and nothing happens, where do we go from there? Will we find an ultimate cure for our creeping blindness? No Escape asks us to open our eyes before our children blame us for the enveloping dark.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Sunday, March 4, 2007
I think I'm gunna watch those ones at the drive in so i can bring my hookah.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
When your cereal gets mushy.
When windshield wipers make that squeaky noise.
When those idiots in the crowd at hockey games start standing up and waving at the bottom of the screen trying to get on television.
Trying to have sex or masturbate when your dog is in the room.
When your food gets cold.
When you accidentally chew on a piece of tinfoil.
When candle wax drips all over my furniture and is impossible to get off.
Waiting rooms with shitty magazines.
Places that are cash only (or credit card only)
When I go to see Canucks highlights, and I just barely miss them, so I have to wait for them to go through the whole sports loop again.
Having to wait around at home all day for the repair man to show up.
Hearing your own voice.
Sleeping in an unmade bed.
When your phone is beeping from a missed call, and its way on the other side of your room and you don't wanna get up and turn it off. Or when other people leave their phone beeping.
When your toothpaste bottle gets all clogged up.
When post-its or tape lose their stickiness.
When you open up a shaken bottle of pop and it just sprays everywhere.
People who talk about work and business on the weekend.
When people don't wipe their feet at the door.
Having to take your shoes off when going to someone's house and you have a hole in your sock.
Knots that you can't undo.
Forgetting where you put something that you were holding two seconds ago.
Things that are too good to be true, and really are.
When you buy something brand new, and right away it doesn't work.
People who lie to themselves.
Driving behind a slow driver on a one lane street. Actually I hate driving behind anyone at all, no matter what speed they're going.
Getting ripped off.
Commercials for Bryman college or any commercial with fake telephone operators.
Swearing. (I really need to try and tone it down a bit)
Forgetting your wallet or phone at home.
When I cant relax when I get home from work.
When your girlfriend is on her period.
When you cant think of a word you want to say.
When people cancel plans on you last minute.
Forgetting something you were about to say and then NEVER remembering.
How email has taken the romance away from the love letter.
How you have to pay to go to most museums. (they should be by donation)
Those snack pack pizza things you'd eat in elementary school with the cracker and the cold tomato paste. Disgusting. I'll be forever haunted by those.
Going into the freezer section of the supermarket and getting really cold.
Long boring credits/opening titles at the beginning of the movies.
When you're walking out of a store and the security alarm goes off. Its so embarrassing. Its even worse when you go IN and the alarm goes off, cause you know that when you walk back out, its gonna be going off again. So you sort of take your time and browse around a bit, make it look like you're not the type of person who would steal anything. Maybe even feel obligated to purchase something, as an excuse for it to be going off.
Spending cash. I'd rather spend 30 dollars in change than 10 bucks in cash.
Always forgetting jokes.
Forgetting peoples names.
When you have your car parked out in the sun and its so hot that you can hardly touch your steering wheel.
When your alarm clock doesn't go off.
When you get stuck in the middle of an intersection while in a green light, then having it go red. Especially when you're in the middle of the sidewalk, and you're downtown on a busy day and you have all these people walking around your car. And even when the car moves up in front of you, you still cannot move.
When people come to the gallery 5 minutes before closing, and spend 2 hours looking about. For some reason they don't get the hint when i start turning out the lights.
People who turn on their turning signal at the last minute.
Forgetting to pee before you leave the house.
Having to stand on the bus or skytrain.
Looking at beautiful women while you're driving resulting in almost crashing into the person in front of you.
When you wake up in the middle of a really good dream, and then you try to go back to sleep as fast as you can so that you can start off from where it ended, and it NEVER comes back!
Cookbooks without pictures.
When songs, artists, or books you love, and not many people know about, become popular.
When you need ice but somebody forgets to fill up the ice cube tray.
Awkward greetings. Like when you don't know whether to give someone one kiss on the cheek, or one on each cheek. Or sometimes its just a handshake. Or a handshake that turns into a hug. Or a handshake that turns into a hug with a kiss on the cheek. Sometimes you just don't even touch the person, and its just a hello, but then think to yourself "maybe i should've given a handshake".
When you get those pistachios that are hard to open.
Monroe piercings....disgusting....they look like zits.....sparkly zits
Body Break with Hal Johnson & Joanne McLeod. You can "keep fit and have fun" with my fucking cock. Just let me watch my damn show!
Running out of toilet paper
Being put on hold
Spilling things on clean clothes
When someone starts using the hot water when you're taking a shower and it goes cold (especially when you're in the middle of washing your hair)
When I take my dog for a walk, and I forget to bring the ball chucker, and I have to throw her disgusting slimey ball with my hands. And when she takes a shit when someones looking, and I have to pretend like I'm going to pick it up after her (haha, ya right!...like I'm going to do that)
The waiting room at the doctors office, and then after they call your name, they make you wait again in the LITTLE ROOM!
When people phone you and they don't tell you who it is.
Getting food stuck in your teeth
Sunburns. Especially if they peel after ugh...then you have to go start your tan alllll over again.
When nobody has any gum. Or when you have bad breath, and you KNOW it, and there is no way to get rid of it at that moment.
When your tea/coffee/soup is too hot and you have to wait for it to cool down, or when you just don't feel like waiting and you drink it anyways and you burn your mouth
When you're tanning outside and a big cloud passes over.
How slurpee cups don't fit in the cup holder in my car, so I have to hold it while I drive, making my fingers go numb.
Losing a call waiting face off (when you're talking to someone on the phone, and they get a beep, and they let you go to talk to the other person)
When you're sleeping in an ice hut on top of Whistler mountain, and the water bottle that you put in your sleeping bag (to keep it from freezing) leaks, making your entire sleeping bag turn into a frozen block of ice....worst night of my life.
When people have usernames like "sexy_girl" or something like of that nature and you go look at their profile and they're just fat and ugly. It's false advertising! As are padded bras! The boobs just vanish when you take em off!
When you have to pre-pay for gas, and they have no sign up telling you that, so you stand around like an idiot for a while until they come on the speaker and tell you that its pre-pay. Or when you're paying for gas in cash and you end up going a couple cents over by accident, and then you have to crawl into your car searching for change, when all you wanna do is just give em ur $20 and go.
When your pop or beer can explode when you open it
When you have to work on sunny days, and then the days that you DO get off are rainy, mucky and gross.
Seeds (in fruit...ugh they're so annoying)
When I forget to charge my cellphone or my iPod and i cant use it the rest of the day
Thugs, "gangters", homies....any of that crap....
People who cant get your order right in drive through windows. But even worse are the people who go to complain about the screw ups in the drive through or something.
When you scratch a DVD, CD or video game and its skips, or just isn't playable anymore.
Those days when you feel like you have nothing to wear.
When I'm watching the food network and it starts to get me really hungry, and so I go look in the kitchen for food and there isn't anything to eat.
When you just can't get comfortable. Usually in bed, movie theater seats, and on the airplane.
People who cut in front of you when you're walking.
Car show models. You're not really models, you just stand there and look like whores. And then theres those losers who go around and get their picture taken with these slutty looking girls, and think they're "pimps" for doing so.
When people have such strong accents, and you can't understand a damn thing they're saying. And you can only say "what? huh? say again? pardon me?" so many time, so you just have to smile and nod.
Commercials and ads in general (or when something important is about to happen, and they make you wait until after the commercials...ugh! bastards!)
When I have a big box of cookies just waiting to be eaten by me, and there is no bloody milk! Or when you DO have milk and you dunk the cookie in it and you leave it too long, then it ends up breaking off and falling to the bottom of the cup where you cant get it until you finish the milk.
Trying to find a parking space in a busy parking lot (Metrotown close to Christmas...fuck...I'd rather die)
When people try talking to me when I have headphones on.
Tattoos (Unless it is to pay TRIBUTE to something or is traditional to your culture as an art form and is expressed that way)
When you're using tape, and you lose the end of it, and it takes you forever to get it going again.
When my dog licks her ass then tries to lick me.
Beers that don't have those twist off lids (especially when you don't have a bottle opener)
Movie or TV shows that say "to be continued" at the end of em.
People who brag about being a stoner, being stoned, getting drunk, doing nothing with their lives, partying all the time, or getting in trouble with the police.
Cold toilet seats.
Getting annoying songs stuck in your head.
Pop up ads.
Those little subscription cards that fall out of magazines.
When you call the wrong number. Especially when you do it more than once. Or even worse when you call the wrong number and its someone you know and REALLY don't want to talk to.
Mosquito bites. Especially when they're in unscratchable spots.
Locking my keys in my car.
When you're eating ice cream or a popcycle and it starts dripping or falls on you (this is why I always get my ice cream in a dish).
Jerry Springer's final thought.....whats the point?
People who call cops "pigs".
Club bouncers on a power trip.
Having to pee while I'm driving.
Breaking bills or having to ask someone to break a bill to get change...they always give you a look.
Sleep creases that end up on your face when you wake up.
Cellophane on new CD boxes that is impossible to open unless you have scaples for fingers.
Getting just a cup of soda instead of the whole can on an airplane.
Bullshit search engine results.
When theres nothing on TV.
When you have a juicebox and you lose the straw, so you have to poke out the hole with your finger and squeeze out the juice. Or when you have a snack pack, and you have no spoon...all i can say is thank god for pudding in a tube.
Going through airport security and customs.
People who force their beliefs onto others.
People who correct your spelling or your grammar.
Waiting in line.
When you're eating an ice cream cone and it starts melting and dripping everywhere. Or when you're eating a popcicle and it falls off the stick.
Bus drivers and just the public transportation system in general. It'd also be nice if they closed the skytrain AFTER the clubs close down.
When you're at a Canucks game, and they make you wait at the top of the stairs until the play is over before you can get back to your seats. And of course whenever this happens to me, the play goes on for like 5 fucking minutes!
and of course war, hate, racism....all the usual stuff....but we wont get into that...
....i think thats everything
Friday, March 2, 2007
This was the first time in a looong time where I've had two sunny days on my weekend.
You have no idea how happy I was Sunday morning when I woke up and saw that beautiful warm glow through my bedroom window.
I don't even remember the last time I saw the sun...
It was refreshing to say the least.
I was actually jumping on my bed for joy....no joke.
But I also thought to myself...
Wouldn't it be great if it just kept on raining?Like non-stop for a whole year! Cause EVERYONE would just pack up and leave! Except for me...and people who actually like the rain...which I'm sure there aren't too many of...but I'm sure they're nice people...so i don't mind sharing the city with them. But Vancouver would be left just to us! How great would that be!?
Heres some cool news! The No Escape essay I posted in my blog last week was published in The Tyee today....makes me feel like a real writer....feels nice. They even put it on the front page of their website! thetyee.ca
....of course the bastards spelled my last night wrong
oh well. its been getting a lot of response anyways!
So I'm on the skytrain yesterday.
Haven't been on there in a while.
And I see this fat man with a top hat.
Baggy black pants, and a tan button up shirt.
Now this guy was very distinct looking.
And I see him get off the skytrain at Columbia Station.
Yes I'm weird and i watch people...piss off.
Anyhow, I stay on the skytrain, and I see the train leave him behind.
But when the train arrived at 29th Ave Station, he was there!
It blew my mind! How did he do it? Is there was faster way to get from Columbia all the way to 29th?
I don't think so....
....so this weird looking fat guy with a top hat must have had a twin wearing the same thing and just happened to be at 29th ave. It is the only way i can think to explain it....
But i had a really nice day just walking about downtown. I haven't done that in a while.
I went and sat on the steps of the VAG for the first time. That is one interesting spot. So many strange characters around. a great place for people watching. The activists handing out fliers, the snobby shoppers trying to ignore the fliers, the people pretending to be interesting in their flyers and then throwing them in the garbage can down the street...And this is where my Witty Comment of the Weekend came out. It was said to one the save the seal activists.
"So a seal walked into a club..."
...yes brilliant, i know. But she had a good chuckle.
There were also girls giving out free hugs! They had a sign and everything...sound familiar youtube video? Oh well, good for them for keeping the idea alive. I figured it was a good deal though, and took 5!
Why is it that the women who wear the most make up, and expensive clothes, look the most unhappy? Is it just me? just something i noticed.
Its so amazing to see all the different types of people walking the streets of downtown Van.
I saw a very professional looking woman, in a business suit and all, carrying a big old chair down a busy street. Then stopped at a bus stop, sat in the chair, took out a book, and read.
I dropped a lighter from my pocket while walking along Granville. Didn't notice until a drug dealer told me. That was nice of him to do. He then asked me if I wanted to buy some weed....I almost felt obligated to buy some after his kindness....but ya...no.
And there was a homeless person with a sign that said "which sex is more generous?" and he had a box for change from each sex. I thought it was smart. I hope he makes millions.
....and I'll bet the women win.
My favorite bridge is the Granville street bridge. I know it isn't the prettiest, But does it ever have a view. I wish i hadn't lent my brother my digital camera so i could explain it. I'm never lending that thing out ever again. I've missed out on sooo many great photos.
But you know how the bridge has a bit of a hill on it? So it goes up and then dips down when you're heading southbound. So when you're looking at this on a nice sunny day, it looks like a never ending road to the clouds. And when i looked back at the amazing view of the city, there were big dark clouds over top. It felt like i was escaping from depths of hell and making my way on the highway to heaven. I guess you had to be there....if only i had my camera....fuck. The cheery on top was the sign saying "Limited Vision" in the middle of the bridge. love it :) You know that feeling you have the first few seconds after you wake up and everything still feels kinda like a dream? That exactly how i felt on that bridge. And then looking down at all the people enjoying life on Granville island. i felt like a giddy school boy. couldn't wait to get down there and enjoy the fun with everyone else. Definitely one of my favorite places.
I also hit up a little joint close to my gallery for some eats. $2.95 for 2 eggs, 5 sausages, hash browns, toast, and jam! Can't beat that! Plus I love the cute little Asian couple who own the small crappy place. Gotta support the little ones.
They gave me marmalade jam.
God I love marmalade jam.
I don't have it nearly enough.
I think its the most underrated jam there is.
Thats it, I'm bringing it back!
I put milk and sugar in my green tea for the first time.
Kinda tasted like the green tea gelato i had a couple weeks ago.
Not bad a guess.
This sure is along blog...and I haven't even gotten into todays adventure.
Well I'll try and keep it extremely short.
I went to Stanley Park.
I love that park.
So sad to see all the fallen trees.
But i sat on the fallen trunks and wrote poetry.
And payed my respect to the century old wonders.
I roller bladed around the park a few times.
Why is it every time i go to Stanley Park, I end up making friends with a large group of beautiful Asian women while feeding ducks?
I'm telling ya fellas, if you like Asian girls...feed the ducks at Stanley Park.
I went and visited the Beluga whales.
What amazing creatures.
I wonder if most people understand just how amazing they are...
I had a moment at the park today.
One of those moments that stay in your head forever.
I was dashing on my blades through the tunnel at the beginning of the park.
I don't remember the last time i raced that that.
I just felt this amazing bust of energy.
Had that Unwritten son by Natasha Bedingfield playing on the pod.
Corny i know, but it was fitting.
Finally when i didn't have an ounce of energy left
I plopped myself on the closest bench I could find.
And it felt EXACTLY where i was supposed to be
Everything in the world seemed to be in sync and in rhythm with my mind and soul
I don't know how to explain it.
I sat under a blossoming cherry tree
In front of a pond.
Surrounded by weeping willows.
God i love weeping willows.
Sweet child of mine by the guns and roses was playing in my ears.
I know it doesn't sound like the most fitting tune....but for some reason...it was perfect.
There was a beautiful old tree that was laying in the water, totally knocked over from the strong winds in the winter.
It looked like something from a story book.
And there were swans.
Isn't that the most graceful bird?
I felt as if i was sitting before royalty.
The Asian girls really knew how to lour them over.
And at that very moment where i was realizing exactly where i was,
a burst of sunlight glazed itself over the pond.
I took in every speck of it.
I took in every life that was around.
It felt like everyone was just sharing this moment with me.
It felt like everyone knew.
There was this gentle old man. Walking by himself. He carried his coat under his arm, and had his other hand in his pocket. He walked so very slowly. Then stopped and looked out at the pond. He then took a comb out of his back pocket, and gave his hair a quick fix...and kept on walking.
I made up this entire story about him in my head.
Of him and his wife (who may have passed on now) coming to this spot together.
Hand in hand.
Sitting in the very same bench I was in.
And enjoying that very same moment together.
And now he comes everyday.
The bench i sat on was dedicated to Daphine (Daphy Jean) Bray
Under her named read:
"When most people looked for rainbows, you took pleasure in the rain"
If you ever come by this bench. I hope you enjoy it.
I hope someday I have a bench dedicated to me.
A bench full of beautiful memories.
What a daydream boy i am eh?
Anyways this blog has gone on long enough today. I wish i could share more, but I'm sure most of you have given up already.
If you read it all....thanks....really.
I love this world!