Things I Dislike

I dislike...

When your cereal gets mushy.

When windshield wipers make that squeaky noise.

When those idiots in the crowd at hockey games start standing up and waving at the bottom of the screen trying to get on television.

Trying to have sex or masturbate when your dog is in the room.

When your food gets cold.

When you accidentally chew on a piece of tinfoil.

When candle wax drips all over my furniture and is impossible to get off.

Waiting rooms with shitty magazines.

Places that are cash only (or credit card only)

When I go to see Canucks highlights, and I just barely miss them, so I have to wait for them to go through the whole sports loop again.

Having to wait around at home all day for the repair man to show up.

Hearing your own voice.

Sleeping in an unmade bed.

When your phone is beeping from a missed call, and its way on the other side of your room and you don't wanna get up and turn it off. Or when other people leave their phone beeping.

When your toothpaste bottle gets all clogged up.

When post-its or tape lose their stickiness.

When you open up a shaken bottle of pop and it just sprays everywhere.

People who talk about work and business on the weekend.

When people don't wipe their feet at the door.

Having to take your shoes off when going to someone's house and you have a hole in your sock.

Knots that you can't undo.

Forgetting where you put something that you were holding two seconds ago.

Things that are too good to be true, and really are.

When you buy something brand new, and right away it doesn't work.

People who lie to themselves.

Driving behind a slow driver on a one lane street. Actually I hate driving behind anyone at all, no matter what speed they're going.

Getting ripped off.

Commercials for Bryman college or any commercial with fake telephone operators.

Swearing. (I really need to try and tone it down a bit)

Forgetting your wallet or phone at home.

When I cant relax when I get home from work.

When your girlfriend is on her period.

When you cant think of a word you want to say.

When people cancel plans on you last minute.

Forgetting something you were about to say and then NEVER remembering.

How email has taken the romance away from the love letter.

How you have to pay to go to most museums. (they should be by donation)

Those snack pack pizza things you'd eat in elementary school with the cracker and the cold tomato paste. Disgusting. I'll be forever haunted by those.

Going into the freezer section of the supermarket and getting really cold.

Long boring credits/opening titles at the beginning of the movies.

When you're walking out of a store and the security alarm goes off. Its so embarrassing. Its even worse when you go IN and the alarm goes off, cause you know that when you walk back out, its gonna be going off again. So you sort of take your time and browse around a bit, make it look like you're not the type of person who would steal anything. Maybe even feel obligated to purchase something, as an excuse for it to be going off.

Spending cash. I'd rather spend 30 dollars in change than 10 bucks in cash.

Paper-cuts.

Always forgetting jokes.

Forgetting peoples names.

When you have your car parked out in the sun and its so hot that you can hardly touch your steering wheel.

When your alarm clock doesn't go off.

When you get stuck in the middle of an intersection while in a green light, then having it go red. Especially when you're in the middle of the sidewalk, and you're downtown on a busy day and you have all these people walking around your car. And even when the car moves up in front of you, you still cannot move.

When people come to the gallery 5 minutes before closing, and spend 2 hours looking about. For some reason they don't get the hint when i start turning out the lights.

People who turn on their turning signal at the last minute.

Forgetting to pee before you leave the house.

Having to stand on the bus or skytrain.

Looking at beautiful women while you're driving resulting in almost crashing into the person in front of you.

When you wake up in the middle of a really good dream, and then you try to go back to sleep as fast as you can so that you can start off from where it ended, and it NEVER comes back!

Cookbooks without pictures.

When songs, artists, or books you love, and not many people know about, become popular.

When you need ice but somebody forgets to fill up the ice cube tray.

Awkward greetings. Like when you don't know whether to give someone one kiss on the cheek, or one on each cheek. Or sometimes its just a handshake. Or a handshake that turns into a hug. Or a handshake that turns into a hug with a kiss on the cheek. Sometimes you just don't even touch the person, and its just a hello, but then think to yourself "maybe i should've given a handshake".

When you get those pistachios that are hard to open.

Monroe piercings....disgusting....they look like zits.....sparkly zits

Body Break with Hal Johnson & Joanne McLeod. You can "keep fit and have fun" with my fucking cock. Just let me watch my damn show!

Running out of toilet paper

Being put on hold

Spilling things on clean clothes

When someone starts using the hot water when you're taking a shower and it goes cold (especially when you're in the middle of washing your hair)

When I take my dog for a walk, and I forget to bring the ball chucker, and I have to throw her disgusting slimey ball with my hands. And when she takes a shit when someones looking, and I have to pretend like I'm going to pick it up after her (haha, ya right!...like I'm going to do that)

The waiting room at the doctors office, and then after they call your name, they make you wait again in the LITTLE ROOM!

When people phone you and they don't tell you who it is.

Getting food stuck in your teeth

The FCC

Awkward silences

Sunburns. Especially if they peel after ugh...then you have to go start your tan alllll over again.

When nobody has any gum. Or when you have bad breath, and you KNOW it, and there is no way to get rid of it at that moment.

When your tea/coffee/soup is too hot and you have to wait for it to cool down, or when you just don't feel like waiting and you drink it anyways and you burn your mouth

Gang signs.

When you're tanning outside and a big cloud passes over.

How slurpee cups don't fit in the cup holder in my car, so I have to hold it while I drive, making my fingers go numb.

Graffiti.

Losing a call waiting face off (when you're talking to someone on the phone, and they get a beep, and they let you go to talk to the other person)

When you're sleeping in an ice hut on top of Whistler mountain, and the water bottle that you put in your sleeping bag (to keep it from freezing) leaks, making your entire sleeping bag turn into a frozen block of ice....worst night of my life.

When people have usernames like "sexy_girl" or something like of that nature and you go look at their profile and they're just fat and ugly. It's false advertising! As are padded bras! The boobs just vanish when you take em off!

When you have to pre-pay for gas, and they have no sign up telling you that, so you stand around like an idiot for a while until they come on the speaker and tell you that its pre-pay. Or when you're paying for gas in cash and you end up going a couple cents over by accident, and then you have to crawl into your car searching for change, when all you wanna do is just give em ur $20 and go.

Pennies

When your pop or beer can explode when you open it

When you have to work on sunny days, and then the days that you DO get off are rainy, mucky and gross.

Seeds (in fruit...ugh they're so annoying)

When I forget to charge my cellphone or my iPod and i cant use it the rest of the day

Thugs, "gangters", homies....any of that crap....

People who cant get your order right in drive through windows. But even worse are the people who go to complain about the screw ups in the drive through or something.

When you scratch a DVD, CD or video game and its skips, or just isn't playable anymore.

Those days when you feel like you have nothing to wear.

When I'm watching the food network and it starts to get me really hungry, and so I go look in the kitchen for food and there isn't anything to eat.

When you just can't get comfortable. Usually in bed, movie theater seats, and on the airplane.

People who cut in front of you when you're walking.

Barstars.

Car show models. You're not really models, you just stand there and look like whores. And then theres those losers who go around and get their picture taken with these slutty looking girls, and think they're "pimps" for doing so.

When people have such strong accents, and you can't understand a damn thing they're saying. And you can only say "what? huh? say again? pardon me?" so many time, so you just have to smile and nod.

Commercials and ads in general (or when something important is about to happen, and they make you wait until after the commercials...ugh! bastards!)

When I have a big box of cookies just waiting to be eaten by me, and there is no bloody milk! Or when you DO have milk and you dunk the cookie in it and you leave it too long, then it ends up breaking off and falling to the bottom of the cup where you cant get it until you finish the milk.

Late Fees.

Trying to find a parking space in a busy parking lot (Metrotown close to Christmas...fuck...I'd rather die)

When people try talking to me when I have headphones on.

Hardcore music.

Tattoos (Unless it is to pay TRIBUTE to something or is traditional to your culture as an art form and is expressed that way)

When you're using tape, and you lose the end of it, and it takes you forever to get it going again.

When my dog licks her ass then tries to lick me.

Beers that don't have those twist off lids (especially when you don't have a bottle opener)

Movie or TV shows that say "to be continued" at the end of em.

People who brag about being a stoner, being stoned, getting drunk, doing nothing with their lives, partying all the time, or getting in trouble with the police.

Ebonics.

Cold toilet seats.

Getting annoying songs stuck in your head.

Pop up ads.

Those little subscription cards that fall out of magazines.

When you call the wrong number. Especially when you do it more than once. Or even worse when you call the wrong number and its someone you know and REALLY don't want to talk to.

Mosquito bites. Especially when they're in unscratchable spots.

Locking my keys in my car.

When you're eating ice cream or a popcycle and it starts dripping or falls on you (this is why I always get my ice cream in a dish).

Getting sick.

Jerry Springer's final thought.....whats the point?

People who call cops "pigs".

Club bouncers on a power trip.

Having to pee while I'm driving.

The USA.

Breaking bills or having to ask someone to break a bill to get change...they always give you a look.

Sleep creases that end up on your face when you wake up.

Cellophane on new CD boxes that is impossible to open unless you have scaples for fingers.

Getting just a cup of soda instead of the whole can on an airplane.

Bullshit search engine results.

When theres nothing on TV.

When you have a juicebox and you lose the straw, so you have to poke out the hole with your finger and squeeze out the juice. Or when you have a snack pack, and you have no spoon...all i can say is thank god for pudding in a tube.

Brainfreeze.

Going through airport security and customs.

People who force their beliefs onto others.

People who correct your spelling or your grammar.

Waiting in line.

When you're eating an ice cream cone and it starts melting and dripping everywhere. Or when you're eating a popcicle and it falls off the stick.

Bus drivers and just the public transportation system in general. It'd also be nice if they closed the skytrain AFTER the clubs close down.

Junkmail.

When you're at a Canucks game, and they make you wait at the top of the stairs until the play is over before you can get back to your seats. And of course whenever this happens to me, the play goes on for like 5 fucking minutes!

and of course war, hate, racism....all the usual stuff....but we wont get into that...


....i think thats everything

....for now


xoxo
jordan